


Loving Him.

by SammyLovesASOIAF



Series: Fools of Love [1]
Category: A Song of Ice and Fire - George R. R. Martin, Game of Thrones (TV)
Genre: F/M, JaimSa Centric, Modern AU, Younger Elia, Younger Jaime, Younger Rhaegar
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-16
Updated: 2018-02-16
Packaged: 2019-03-19 10:58:31
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,258
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13703064
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SammyLovesASOIAF/pseuds/SammyLovesASOIAF
Summary: Where Tywin Lannister and Eddard Stark agrees on the bethrotal of Jaime Lannister and Sansa Stark for the merging of Stark Co. and Lannister Corporation.





	Loving Him.

**Author's Note:**

> Jaime is 27 years old  
> Sansa is 24 years old  
> Elia is 27 years old  
> Rhaegar is 28 years old

Loving Jaime Lannister was not easy, but Sansa loved him all the same. From the time she watched him love another, seek another, and cherish another— she stayed. It was not easy watching him with Elia Martell, the way they were easy with one another like Jaime and she never were. She knew that if Lady Joanna Lannister had lived, Jaime would have married the Dornish beauty. 

Even though Sansa was Jaime's wife, he only saw her as a friend at best, for his father and hers were the ones who arranged their marriage for them. Descended from ancient Western Kings and Lann the Clever, the Lannisters were considered as a prestigious family as good as royalty. No other woman has been deemed worthy of becoming the wife of Tywin’s heir until the Old Lion met Sansa Stark. Although not as rich as House Lannister, House Stark was descended from the Winter Kings of the North. Blood of the First Men ran in their veins. Brandon the Three-eyed Raven was a direct ancestor of Sansa’s father, Eddard Stark, and so Tywin Lannister deemed Sansa worthy of bearing the Lannister name. Only the best woman will marry his golden son. But Tywin Lannister had more ideas. He had wanted to bring Stark Co. in the fold by merging it with Lannister Corporation. In that way, he wouldn’t need to buy it from the Starks. 

Sansa dreamed that, perhaps, if she and Jaime were in another life, where their future was not dictated by their fathers, then he could have loved her.  
Truthfully, in the course of their troth, Sansa hoped that Jaime would come to love her as she did him, but her hope had been shattered when she saw him kiss Elia in a secluded balcony during a Lannister Gala after she told Jaime about Rhaegar leaving her. Sansa knew then that Jaime Lannister was in love with his best friend and not her – will never be her.

Sansa was foolishly in love with Jaime, and he was in love with another. She resigned herself to the fact, for she thought that if she accepted the truth it would hurt less. She was wrong. It did nothing to numb the pain in her heart. No, it was not easy loving Jaime, but Sansa loved him still. 

They were married in the old sept in the ancient Lannister stronghold, Casterly Rock. The sun was high in the sky when they said their vows in light of The Seven. 

"Father, Mother, Maiden, Warrior, Crone, Smith, Stranger. I am hers and she is mine, from this day until my last..."

"Father, Mother, Maiden, Warrior, Crone, Smith, Stranger. I am his and he is mine, from this day until my last…"

There were moments when she would catch Jaime looking at her with an unreadable expression on his comely face, and once she caught him, he would look away. Sometimes Sansa thought there was something there, when Jaime would take her out and give her gifts, but she was wrong.

Jaime hadn’t kept his infidelities in secret. Two years into their marriage, and the press knew all about Jaime and Elia's midnight visitations. By then, Jaime only laid with Sansa once, during the twelfth month of the second year of their marriage, and he was tipsy when they were in bed. He came with a shout and another woman's name on his lips while silent tears fell on Sansa's left cheek. She'd sobbed and cursed whatever god there is for her miserable fate whilst Jaime slept peacefully. Sleep never came to her, and in the morning after, her eyes were puffy from crying. 

Sansa saw Elia three days after the horrible bedding. She was not stupid enough to dismiss the growing bump Elia Martell sported, and from the looks of it, she was seven months into her pregnancy. Sansa wanted to cry right then and there. She was four and twenty, but in that moment, as the reality of her husband’s love child sunk in, she felt like she was ten and two yet again. That night, Sansa made a decision she wasn’t sure if she’d regret it or not. Sansa called her attorney and asked for a divorce to be filed. The next morning, Sansa moved out of Jaime’s house.

_I never wanted any of this._

A month later, Elia Martell gave birth to a dark-haired girl with amethyst eyes. The child was obviously not Jaime’s. She’d seen Jaime in court while the hearing for their divorce was being held. Dark circles were under his eyes, his right hand was bandaged, and he grew his beard. He was thinner than when she last saw him. But despite the circumstances, Sansa had to admit he looked like half a god. It was obvious that Jaime was deeply hurt by Elia’s manipulation, and Sansa pitied him. It didn’t help that she found out she was with child—his child.

Sansa didn’t know if she would tell Jaime. He had the right to know about their child, but Sansa was not quite ready to tell him. She’d been retching in her toilet when the doorbell rang. Sansa was surprised to find Jaime Lannister in her doorway, drenched from head to toe by the rain, and carrying food. “Can I come in?” He asked. Sansa nodded and stepped aside so he could come in. “I came here to talk to you, actually.” 

Jaime set the food he brought on the marble counter, looking around her flat curiously. “Talk then, Jaime,” Sansa said suddenly, Jaime’s head whipped towards her. She only wore loose jogging pants and a baggy shirt while her hair was a disheveled mess, but she had that certain glow about her which made her beauty seem ethereal. 

“I wanted to talk to you about the divorce. I know I wasn’t exactly a great husband, but I want to make our marriage work.” Sansa was not sure if she heard right. _Jaime wants to make our marriage work?_ For a moment, Sansa allowed hope to swell in her chest. Her babe will have both a father and a mother. But the walls she built around her heart hindered her from agreeing with Jaime. _Arya always said I was a slow learner, but I do learn._

“Jaime,” she started, “I’m sorry, but for two years I tried to make everything work. Two years…two years I waited for you to notice me. I’m sorry, but I can’t. You have to leave now. Please…”

Jaime looked as if he had been punched in the gut, but Sansa learned her lesson, and she couldn’t risk him breaking her heart once more because if he did so once again, Sansa wasn’t sure if she could mend it. Jaime nodded, understanding her. But the feeling of bitterness engulfed him so suddenly that he was at a loss for words. Jaime reached the front door of her apartment, his hand grasping at the metal knob. He looked back at her, his eyes shining with unshed tears threatening to fall, “I was a fool to have ignored you, Sansa Stark.” With that, he was gone. 

But no matter how much Jaime had hurt her by loving another, Sansa still loved him. 

Hot tears now fell freely on Sansa’s cheeks. Jaime and she could have had everything. The gods were cruel, Sansa knew now. To give her a taste of the life she could have had, only to take it all away is crueler than any suffering this world has to offer.

**Author's Note:**

> This sucks, but I promise for the other parts to be more specific and full of angst. If there will be other parts. It's actually my first time to publish my stuff here so I'm quite nervous. I had to write some Jaimsa stuff... Thank you for reading!


End file.
